SNARKOTICS.com: where opinions come to overdose

While sitting on my ass watching the presidential debate and stuffing my face with nutella that I purchased about an hour ago after two weeks of dreaming about stuffing my face with it (if you don’t know what the fuck nutella is, you clearly need to put on your running shoes and dash over to your nearest supermarket to purchase it before the place closes for the night RIGHT.THIS.INSTANT — okay, okay, after you watch the debate and my video), I remembered a “vlog” I made a few months.

I discussed two things I hate with an undying passion: being fat and going to the gym. If the American government is investing millions (if not more) to promote healthy living to the overwhelming amount of overweight citizens of this supersize-me country (and failing, at that), why can’t the government make a deal with chain gyms where they offer a discount membership to anyone who is clinically overweight?

So, before I resume watching this painfully redundant debate (OMG IMAGINE ONE OF THE TOPICS TONIGHT IS DISCOUNTED GYM MEMBERSHIPS FOR FATTIES?! I’D FLIP A SHIT AND THEN EAT IT!), I will embed this “vlog” of mine for your viewing pleasure. (The first person who gets the the correct number of times I say “um” in this video will receive absolutely nothing but the acknowledgment from myself and the other snarkotics that you are a) a good listener and b) an excellent counter.)

And yes, I am fully aware that before I whine about gyms being too expensive, I should probably put the kibosh on this nutella beasting frenzy, but it’s too fucking good to put down… PLUS I AM PMSinG (that’s always a favorite excuse of mine).