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accordingtoalannaFiled under: Popculture, Television | Tags: kristen cavelerri, laguna beach, lauren conrad, mtv, new york, the city, the hills, whitney port
Is it possible that MTV has finally found a show more dramatic than Laguna Beach and more vapid than The Hills? If this question was proposed to me a few months ago, I would have chuckled and flippantly waved my hand and said “oh go on” in my best Zha Zha Gabor voice. Unfortunately, if you ask me now, I would say “Yes. It’s called the City.”
The City is actually a spin-off of The Hills which is a spin-off of Laguna Beach which is a reality version of The O.C. Are you following? It’s a long line of crap we had to go through to get to The City. Never in my life did I think I would long for the days of 8th and Ocean and actually miss Kristen Cavalerri (say it with me now… STEEE-VEN.)
Whitney Port, Lauren Conrad’s former coworker and advice giver at Teen Vogue, has moved to Manhattan and took a job in publicity at Diane Von Furstenburg. Her co-worker is uber-snobby socialite Olive Palermo, and her boyfriend is a lower-eastside transplant from Australia named Jay. Whitney deals with conflicts that every New Yorker deals with… should I hang out with the peeps on the upper east side or the peeps on the lower east side? Should I take the luxury apartment in gramercy or continue to crash in my friend’s great condo in union square? Should I be nice to the girl embarrassing me in front of Manolo Blahnik or shush her? I know as a native New Yorker, I deal with problems like these EVERYDAY.
In all fairness to the producers of this show, they try to recreate similar dramas that have worked for them in the past. There is cheating, lying, betrayal… when you say it like that, it actually sounds good. It’s not. The problem is, these characters are completely unlikable. Whitney used to be the likable cast member on The Hills but as a leading lady, she falters. She seems to be really thinking about her lines, which for a reality show is not a requirement. All of her loyalty to her friends also seems forced… why befriend the past angry boss, the random skinny model AND the trust fund baby? None of these people seem to be a very good friend to you, Whit.
Her boyfriend and his roommate are the least appealing boys to yet appear on any of these faux reality shows. In the past, I never respect for Brody Jenner and Stephen Colletti but they actually were able to be cheaters and manipulate their girlfriends and still come out likable. Adam, Jay’s roommate, is not only a liar and a cheat but it seems like he has a hard time speaking coherently and being covered in pleather at the same time. Should those two things interfere? Should the latter even exist?
As for the reality of the show, well that’s laughable. Everyone knows by now that the term “reality” is used loosely. The scenes look staged, the lines seem rehearsed and the rumor mill has it that Whitney and Olivia don’t even work for DVF, they just come in once a week to film themselves at desks in the office. Some DVF employees have even been complaining that the filming disrupts the normal work flow of the office. SHOCKER.
There is one hidden gem in the show. Snobby Olivia Palermo has nothing on her hilarious super snobby cousin, Nevin. Nevin is an evil villain who at one time had a 9-5 job and his rent paid, but now crashes on Olivia’s couch (even after he previously trashed her apartment.) He spends his time stroking his small dog, judging guys on the lower east side who wear fedoras and can’t help but sport ugly shoes that are “super comf!” While he seems to have no malicious intent on the show, he does seem like the character I would vote “most likely to stroke his pet with just his ring finger and do a muah-ha-ha laugh.”
I have a strong tolerance/love for awful reality shows. If the characters are likable enough, smart enough or even just relatable, you can enjoy the show. These characters have none of these traits. The portrayal of New York City and how a young person in the city act is laughable at best and MTV should hire better writers if they are going create a faux-reality show. At the risk of sounding like every other critic of MTV, go back to music videos and stop shoving a camera up these young people’s asses. They already have a silver spoon there.
Filed under: Popculture, Television | Tags: dr. drew pinsky, fatman scoop, love line, man & wife, mtv, sex with mom & dad, shanda, trl
Now that TRL got canned, MTV is officially music video-free (aw, bummer). With an array of quality reality shows vying for attention (Paris, meet Heidi, Heidi meet Paris), MTV decided to also sneak in two shows about sex… Right, because those who listen to music also have sex and a music television channel should cater to those people, or else they will write angry e-mails complaining about the lack of sex shows on a music channel that stopped airing music videos years ago. Yes, that’s exactly fucking it! BRILLIANT, MTV, JUST FUCKING BRILLIANT! So, now instead of an hour of TRL, we are now blessed with Sex… With Mom & Dad and Man & Wife.
Let’s start with Sex… With Mom & Dad. Not only is the title cringe-worthy, but the premise is just as equally cringe-worthy. Basically, hot ass Dr. Drew Pinsky (of Love Line and Celebrity Rehab fame) teaches parents and their slutty offsprings how to talk to one another about sex. Apparently, it’s part of Think MTV’s sexual-health campaign entitled “It’s Your (Sex) Life,” but I don’t know anyone who is sexually-active and would tune in for this half-hour gem and want to approach their parents about sex afterwards. Aw, what a precious PSA that could have been summed up in less than two minutes and aired as a commercial. But instead, it’s like a fucked up episode of Full House. Not to mention, how many more episodes can you produce before this subject becomes redundant?
I’m barely ever home in time to watch Sex… With Mom & Dad anyway, so I don’t even feel like I should keep bitching about it, but what I was at home in time for the other day was Man & Wife, and Jesus-fucking-Christ, how I wish I wasn’t.
Synopsis from MTV.com:
“Man and Wife break new ground as the first married couple in the hip-hop genre discussing sex, money, sex, relationships, sex, jobs, sex, politics, sex, marriage, and yes, sex! Inspired by Scoop and Shanda’s www.ManandWife.tv, one of the most popular video podcast shows across the internet and a podcast that consistently tops the charts on iTunes, Man and Wife, the TV show, is one of those rare programs that boldly goes where no show has gone before. But make no mistake; this is not just a show about talkin’ dirty.”
No, MTV, it isn’t just a show about “talkin’ dirty,” it’s also a show that we can all do without. Honestly, just because this did well on the internet, doesn’t mean it will do well on basic cable… with a live audience, nonetheless.
First of all, I don’t need to see Fatman Scoops’ man tits and back rolls seeping through his wife beater right before I go to sleep; this is how nightmares are formed! And what the hell does fierce Shanda, and her crazy ass weave, see in him?! He looks like he smells 24/7. (I can only assume he is good in the sack, since their entire forte is talking about it, but still, not an image I want to envision… ever.)
And they lay in bed during the entire show! NO, JUST NO. I understand it may look “innovative,” and it may fit perfectly with the theme, but not only is it fucking awkward as hell, but having the hosts of the show lay in bed for the entire duration is going to bore the A.D.D. demographic the is attempting to target.
Oh, and the best part is when Scoop and/or Shanda make a corny sexual innuendo and the camera cuts to an audience member laughing their fucking ass off. I can almost guarantee that they shoot the audience members’ pseudo reactions before the show even begins so they have reactions to insert into the show when needed. Sort of like an applause meter, except not. And you wanna know why? BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT FUNNY!!!
And the fucking questions that people ask… LOVE LINE ALREADY ANSWERED ALL OF THEM…10 YEARS AGO…BY DR. DREW (geez, with all the fucking sex-related shit that he has done, I hope he’s like the second coming of Christ in bed)!!! And just because this time around the questions are being answered by a sassy bitch and her loud and obnoxious spouse, doesn’t mean it’s any different or ground-breaking. It’s just awkward and contrived as shit. It’s more awkward than watching Sue Johanson – who is a little ol’ grandma – not only talk about sex, but talk about sex while holding the newly released sex toys with her little ol’ grandma hands. And I was also about to say it’s more contrived than anything Diablo Cody could ever write, but that’s actually not true at all.
MTV: totally irrelevant, one show at a time.
