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accordingtoalannaFiled under: Celebrity News, Popculture, Television | Tags: awards, celebrities, liquor, Movies, TV
Ahh, the Golden Globes. Opening day in a month-long masturbatory spectacular that Hollywood feels it deserves regardless of the actual quality of product it delivers every year. I’m going to be honest, I haven’t seen any of the high art movies this year, mostly because I am unemployed and waiting for a day I can devote solely to theater-hopping, but apparently, from last night’s results, this year is all about Bollywood and Kate Winslet. And TV I actually like.
Let’s start with Kate Winslet. I will admit that she is one of the high-octane actresses I pity. It’s hard to pity any of them, when they have stretched and sanded skin and bone structures a cat could envy, but I do manage to find a little sympathy for the underrated. I hated Titanic, but felt kind of bad when Helen Hunt won the Oscar for Best Actress over her. (Whatever happened to her, anyway?) And since then, she’s pretty much been on a roll. She’s one of the few actresses who manages to play more than one role (I’m lookin’ at you, Cameron), and both Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Little Children would have suffered without her. So sure. Give her an award. Hell, give her two, why not? Also, I will forever admire her for admitting how ultimately forgettable Angelina Jolie is. But Angelina seemed too cranked to mind anyway, so everyone wins.
Next, Bollywood. Or Mumbai. Yes, I am an ethno-centric American who hasn’t seen Slumdog Millionaire. My only familiarity with it, in fact, is that it was directed by the same guy who gratiously revealed Cillian Murphy’s junk to the world in 28 Days Later. So obviously, I’m already a fan of this guy. I never thought Who Wants to Be a Millionaire would be relevant again once Meredith Viera ushered it into syndication. I was wrong.
Finally, TV. I love 30 Rock. I love Mad Men. I love award shows that Tina Fey attends because her acceptance speeches always bring a sparkle to my day. Imagine my disappointment when she let a perpetually drunk Tracy Morgan deliver it instead. To be fair, I’ve been waiting for someone to call out Cate Blanchette’s obvious racism. That Aryan bitch. This means, however, that I’m forced to be glad that she won Best Actress in a Comedy Series just so I could hear her snap, crackle, and pop. And what did she do? Told a bunch of stupid internet trolls to “Suck it.” Damnit, Tina, even though they undoubtedly used language like “TINA FAY SUX 4EVER” and “I CULD RIGHT BETTER THEN THIS BICH,” you’ve got to keep the quality of your snark high. If you sink to their level, you’re only letting them win.
Like any awards show, it was about 90% boring, 5% heart-wrenching, and 5% infuriating. Why the hell didn’t Jon Hamm win for Mad Men? I guess because he’s so damn good-looking he doesn’t really have to do anything except brood, furrow his eyebrows, and suck suggestively on cigarettes. All right, so maybe 3% infuriating and 2% awe-inspiring. Why did it appear like the celebrities weren’t eating anything? Are they like vampires, who maintain the illusion of humanity with empty plates and dishes? I did see some wine and Voss bottles. Apparently they all maintain those skeletal frames through a carefully designed liquid diet. Liquor, water, and the blood of virgins. Take note, American youth.
Filed under: Movies, Popculture | Tags: Drew Seeley, movie review, Movies, Not Another Cinderella Story, Selena Gomez
Home sick on a Friday night with nothing but a box of tissues and a bowl of soup is a recipe for disaster. That was me on Friday night, and I could smell trouble brewing as I finished watching “Sex and the City: the Movie” and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall: the Unrated Version.” There was only one new movie left on my pile of movies that my boyfriend had so kindly rented for me (that’s right, we still rent from video stores. Haters, you know which way to head.) Well, I was so bed ridden, bored and lonely that I popped the DVD in the player. With that being said, I now painfully and regretfully bring you my review of “Another Cinderella Story.”
The first question I had to ask myself is why are we making another one of these? Wasn’t the Hilary Duff/Chad Michael Murray one enough? It wasn’t exactly box office gold and it didn’t exactly soar in DVD sales. We didn’t need another one. And how old is Drew Seeley? Homeboy looks a bit old to play a high school prince charming. He’s certainly handsome enough to be prince charming, but a high school version? If Zac Efron is out of your price range, can’t we at least get Corbin Bleu?
The story starts to follow the classic tale. Step-sisters, step-mother, slave to family, dreams of going to the ball… yadda yadda yadda. Then after the ball, when the prince finds his princess, there’s an addition to the story. Cinderella is then set up to find Prince Charming cheating on her with one of the bullies at school. Wait, that never happened in the original. Why are we dealing with that now? Why mangle a classic with a random story line that doesn’t fit? After dealing with that minor brain-fart, a dance off ensues and our beloved Cinderella lives happily ever after and Warner Brothers now owes me 90 minutes of my life back.
The attempts to make this classic modern are also extremely nauseating. Instead of a pumpkin turning into a chariot, Cinderella’s bff drives an old orange van named pumpkin. Instead of leaving her glass slipper behind, Cinderella leaves her Zune behind (couldn’t get the rights to use an IPod?) And instead of having to try on a glass slipper, girls have to guess the Zune’s most played songs. If only I had guessed Pon de Replay, I too, could have been the one with Drew Seeley. *Sigh*
The one diamond in the rough of this movie is Selena Gomez. While her acting is just ok, and her singing is mediocre at best, she does possess a certain charm about her. She has that ability to make you like her, despite the fact that she is in the worst remake of Cinderella ever and that she has no characteristics of a traditional Cinderella. Instead of being meek and easy to walk all over, she is sassy and sneaky. Instead of being tall, blonde and blue-eyed; she is average height, black hair and brown-eyed. There’s no denying that she’s a beautiful girl, but her personality makes her relatable to young girls. She actually seems like a normal girl who just happened to get lucky. Maybe art does imitate life.
If you’re reading this website, this movie is not for you. However, if you have a 10 year old little sister/daughter/etc, it is for them. Don’t get yourself into the situation I found myself in. Join Netflix and order yourself the Disney Animated version. And take your vitamins; nobody wants to be sick on a Friday night.
Filed under: Movies | Tags: diane lane, movie review, Movies, nights in rodanthe, reviews, richard gere
On Friday night my team and I decided to go see Nights In Rodanthe. Actually, I decided I wanted to go see it and invited my team members to join. The movie hasn’t gotten many positive reviews but I didn’t give a fuck, I mean has anyone seen Unfaithful?! I realize these are two completely movies but I cannot deny the chemistry and awesomeness of Diane Lane and Richard Gere together again.
The theater was half full, and I guess half of that was our team walking in 15 deep. The rest of the theater was old grannies with their husbands looking for another The Notebook, I’m guessing. This movie will not recieve the acclaim and the status of “OMG I WANT TO CRY PUT IN THE NOTEBOOK” or “OMG RYAN GOSLING PUT IN THE NOTEBOOK.” People my age don’t usually yell about Richard Gere, unless we’re watching TBS and Pretty Woman comes on for the zillionth time.
The story is that of two 40-somethings who are at a point in their lives where they are about to give up on love and life in general. Adrienne, played by Diane Lane, is a single mother of two who promises to tend to a beach side inn owned by her best friend. While she is away for the weekend, her philandering husband (Christopher Meloni – RAWR) takes her kids to Disney World but before he leaves he tells her that he wants to come back home. She is left to mull this decision while she stays at the inn. Paul (Richard Gere) is a famous doctor who loses a patient during a simple surgery and is being sued by the family. He travels to speak with the family and stays a few nights at the inn. Also mixed into the story is Paul’s son Mark, who is played in an uncredited role by the wonderful James Franco. Paul and Mark’s relationship has hit rock bottom and Paul is planning on traveling to South America to visit his son’s clinic.
Before I go on, I must say the scenery is lovely in this film. The beaches, the lighting, all that good stuff. Now the INN. For those who have seen the commercials, THIS SHIT IS RIGHT ON THE BEACH. The waves are literally crashing at the foot of this place and I am just waiting throughout the movie for it to wash away. And these two people stay there. During hurricane season. Make of this what you will.
Anyway, the hurricanes hits and as one can easily predict, the two connect. The rest of the story follows a series of letters the two write each other as they prepare to meet each other again.
I read the book by Nicholas Sparks and the movie tweaks a lot in the screenplay. There are not major changes, but it might annoy you if you have read the book before.
Overall, this movie isn’t anything special but what it does do is create a storyline that we don’t see often – and that’s a romantic movie that shows that people over 40 do have a life after middle age. I’m sorry, I love these two actors. And I am a sap for EVERYTHING Nicholas Sparks. I guess if you just need a good cry or want to look at two attractive people on screen, then this is for you!
