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The Bailouts By the Numbers by bizhooligan
December 10, 2008, 12:04 pm
Filed under: Business & Finance | Tags: , , ,
every american currently has 15,330 of these invested in bailouts.

every american currently has 15,330 of these invested in bailouts.

Howdy, kids! I know, I know…long time, no post.  I’m sorry. And I’m sure you’re all on the very edge of your seats wondering about the current recession and economic crisis! Well, have no fear. I’m here to fuel your rage about the whole thing  just a little bit more.

Let’s take a look at the recent government “investments”, or as I like to call them “bailouts for companies that should have just fallen by the wayside thanks to market evolution and a laissez faire approach to economy, but what do I know.”

Following the Citigroup bailout (and not counting the loan of probably about $15b to the automakers), the total “cost” the government has enacted is $4.61 TRILLION.  That means, if we’re simply going by population numbers, that 100 percent of the income of EVERY citizen, including children, makes here in the good ol’ US of A for 3.9 months has been given to floundering companies by our fearless leaders. This means that every single one of American, yes, you too, have $15,330 invested in various failing companies. Congratulations! Your “You Lose, Sucka!” bumper sticker is in the mail.

If $4.61 trillion is still too big of a sum to break down in your head, here’s another way to look at things. With costs adjusted for inflation, the bailout as it stands is about $1 trillion MORE than the government spending on all of these COMBINED: Marshall Plan,  Louisiana Purchase, Savings and Loan Crisis, Korean War, New Deal, Invasion of Iraq, Vietnam War and NASA.

Keep that in mind as you watch your investments flounder, your colleagues get laid off and your taxes increase (in the next few years) while Wall St. CEOs contemplate taking or leaving their multi-million dollar bonuses this year.



Yo, Wall St., How ‘Bout You STFU Already? by bizhooligan

Well, Congress passed the bailout bill last Friday and Bush signed it into law. Everyone should be happy, right?
FUCKING WRONG.

the wall st. bull has had enough

This crisis is bullshit.

On the news of the bill being signed, the markets promptly sank. In fact, yesterday, the market was down 800 points at one point in the day. Analysts told me today it was a moment “of absolute panic around the world.” JUST FUCKING GREAT. That’s what my already tired of work self needs right now. A GLOBAL financial crisis.

That aside, the latest news is that the Federal Reserve (aka The Fed–think of it as the Bank of the United States–not to be confused with one of the few banks left standing, Bank of America) might have to buy municipal bonds. Those, my friends, are the bonds people can buy and the money they put down goes to running our towns and cities. They are called muni bonds by Wall Streeters. Upon news of this potential nationalization of our towns and cities, a writer for my show (which was on air at the time) yells out, “this is fucking Venezuela!” Yeah, everything’s nationalized (or almost), so where the fuck is our cheap gas, hot beauty queens and fucking picturesque beaches (the Jersey Shore is the furthest thing from picturesque. wtf.)?! I say, if we’re going to be fucking Venezuela, let’s get some fiesta-spirit into this piece. SERIOUSLY.

Also. I got my mutual fund quarterly report, and another big FUCK YOU to Wall St. here–it was down over $2,000 in the past 3 mos. Now, that’s a lot for me. Like, 18% a lot for me. Go check your investments (PLEASE). I know in my last post I said that the only way the crisis was affecting me was long work days (and it still is! 13 hours yesterday and 12 today) but apparently, it is now robbing me of my not-so hard earned money as well. I still don’t support the bailout bill, because APPARENTLY it’s still not enough. Did you know that banks borrowed $200 billion PER DAY from the Fed last week? That’s $1 TRILLION for the week. Also, the Fed is now going to be paying interest on commercial paper. What more do we need here!?

In sum, I would REALLY like my 8 hour days and $2,000+ dollars back, financial crisis.

So, until that happens, I’ll be watching Project Runway season 1 reruns at work while the President speaks more about the abysmal state of the economy…which, y’know, may or may not have happened today.




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