SNARKOTICS.com: where opinions come to overdose

While perusing through my buddy list whilst watching Project Runway‘s Season Finale (I just love multi-tasking like that; it’s a skill that very few have perfected), I noticed that all of my uber political friends were “away” watching the debate (and most of their away messages consisted of something smart alecy about the candidate their against). My first reaction was “OH SHIT, I CAN’T BELIEVE I AM MISSING THE DEBATE! HOLY FUCK, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I DIDN’T EVEN DVR IT!” but then it hit me: CALM THE HELL DOWN, ALANNA! You already know who you’re voting for come November 4th. The debates are meant for the undecided, and since you’re far from that, go ahead with your decided self and enjoy the fashion show consisting of clothes that you will never fit into.

So this is where I went from being pissed off at Kenley Collins for giving Tim Gunn yet another attitude (what a condescending and pretentious bitch), to being pissed off at my friends. (Man, I’m either hardcore PMSing or hardcore drinking the hatorade for no apparent reason.) I’m sorry, but if you’re already adamant about who you’re voting for, why the hell are you torturing yourself watching a debate that will not only piss you off, but not benefit you what-so-ever? Unless, of course, there is a small inkling that you’re slightly unsure of your choice… or you just think Obama and McCain are dreamy to look at.

I really dislike people who plop themselves on their couch to watch the debate — wearing their “Vote for __insert candidate of your choice__” memorabilia — and then yell about the candidate they dislike for being a “moron.” No shit they’re a moron, Sherlock… THAT’S WHY YOU’RE NOT VOTING FOR THEM! So, before you stuff even more cheesy puffs into your mouth in hopes that this will comfort you, turn to BRAVO and watch some reality TV full of rainbows and sass to calm you down. I’m serious. Just fucking stop trying to prove to others that you’re a politico and start proving to yourself that you secretly want Tim Gunn to be your bff.

Leave the debates for the undecided; let the candidates attempt to win those people over, instead of unintentionally giving you more material to rant about.

And on that note… Some words of wisdom to go by for the undecided and decided alike: