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Inflation Of Prices Causes Deflation Of Drunkness by janedaniels

The current state of our economy makes me wonder what’s going to happen to the drink prices at bars and clubs in New York City. I think no matter what kind of economic crisis we’re in, 20-something New Yorkers will still find a way to get out of their apartments and hit the town to go drinking, dancing, conversationalizing, and one-night-standifying. My only hope is that bars don’t raise their drink costs even more than their already overly inflated prices. I’ve often remarked that certain drink prices should be illegal in Manhattan. There is one bar I went to where a Cosmo cost me $15. FIFTEEN FUCKING DOLLARS!!! That is utterly ridiculous, not to mention completely unfair. I want to have some fun, not go into bankruptcy! One bottle of top shelf vodka costs roughly $40 at a liquor store, charging almost 1/3rd of that for one drink with one or two shots of vodka in it — plus some juice — should really be outlawed. If Mayor Bloomberg wants to run for a third term, he should put that in his campaign and I would definitely vote for him. I understand that drinking is a luxury and not a privilege but for a young, career girl in NYC going out with friends is almost as important as breathing (yes, I just compared going out to staying alive, deal with it.)

And how are we supposed to tolerate the drunken d-bags and crazy ass bitches out there without a few drinks in us? I’ve never had a good night out in Manhattan without spending at least $100 on drinks and cabs. I used to be able to get men to buy me drinks, but either the fact that I’m pushing 25 or the fact that men nowadays seem to be getting cheaper, is preventing that from happening any more. In my wise old age, I’ve realized that a free drink or two isn’t worth the mouth rape that comes when he attacks you in a drunken makeout session, or the mouth herpes that he leaves you with as a consolation prize anyway (not from personal experience, but I can learn by observing others!)

I haven’t even mentioned the prices at clubs yet. High class dance clubs in Manhattan cost $20-30 just to get in the door, and that’s before you even buy a fucking drink! No wonder so many people are in the bathroom doing blow, it’s probably less expensive than buying a few more drinks (once again, just speculating.) Then, if you want to sit down at a table in the “VIP Section” to rest your blistered ass feet from the high heels you [luckily] got on sale, you better be prepared to pay another $200 for a bottle of vodka or some other liquor. That’s an 80% increase in price! Absolutely ludicrous! Yet people still go out and pay these prices just to have a good time in the big apple and let the sweat drip down their balls from the windows to the walls or whatever the hell they do. I’m not really a club girl. Not to mention the worst part of it all, those rich-ass celebrities and “socialites” that hit these clubs always drink for free, where is the justice in that!? I need to either get famous or marry rich, quick.

Thank God for dive bars. You know what I mean, you can get a good drink for $5-8 but be prepared to deal with unwashed glasses, dirty bathrooms, and guys in backwards baseball hats. Sometimes that’s a good time to be had but other times you like to feel a bit more classy. If bars raise their prices because of the current economic climate, I feel there are only two options for what to do next. Perhaps we’ll have to have a citywide boycott on going out for one or two weekends, although the alcoholics and bar sluts may not like that very much so maybe it wouldn’t work out. The second option is to go back to the days of prohibition and have throwback flapper parties in apartments and basements of brownstones. Illegal bars set up in strangers’ homes. $5 for a jack and coke, a martini, a screwdriver, etc… $2 for a beer. The people running the place are taking the risk of getting arrested for not having a liquor liscence but they would still be making a profit. In the meantime, as I pre-game I’m going to write a letter to Mayor Bloomberg promising my vote if he does something about this drink inflation problem in our fine city. Who knows, maybe someday drinks will go back to manageable prices so we can all be drunken bar whores again without the fear of going broke in a span of one hour!

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